The election is over in Great Britain and the fun has only just begun. The UK vote has resulted in a "hung Parliament" (just curious: does "hung" have the same slang sexual meaning in England as it does in the States? ) This means the BBC will have nothing else to talk about for weeks on end. Endless speculation. Perfect for radio. Lots of words, signifying nothing. I have an easy solution: Turn the government over to the Official Monster Raving Loony Party. It seems they are the only ones capable of governing at this point. I was largely unfamiliar with the OMRLP until last night, but a check of Wikipedia (solid reference source!) provides the following as planks of the OMRLP's "Manicfesto." These positions make more sense to me than those being put forward by the major parties. For example:
Introduce a 99p coin to "save on change";
Any MP whose constituency sells off a school playing field for development will be required to relinquish their own back garden as a replacement sports facility for the school;
Traffic cops "too stupid" for normal police work will be retrained as vicars;
All motorways to become massive cycle tracks instead;
Drivers can go straight over a roundabout when there's no traffic coming "to make driving through Milton Keynes more fun";
Withdrawal of MP's 118,000 pound expenses allowances with the money "in future to be distributed to the poor and needy so that they can waste it instead";
and perhaps best of all:
Banning semicolons since nobody knows how to use them.
No comments:
Post a Comment